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Today's Scripture
6Then one of the seraphim [lit., firey ones] flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. 7And he touched my mouth and said: "Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for [NLT, forgiven; KJV, purged]."
Isaiah 6.6-7 (ESV); Suggested Reading Isaiah 6
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How would you feel? Just imagine, you are slumped in the living room recliner, drinking a cold drink. You have on old, tattered, yard-work clothes and dirty snickers. You stink. You are taking a break from that sweat-soaking task of cutting your grass with the old push lawnmower - and without self-propel.
A knock at the door. You remember your best friend was going to stop by. No problem, best friends can see each other like this, all messed up and dirtied up. Best friends do not mind smelling each other like this. After all, love ignores in the name of love.
You open the door, with a big smile. What do you see? There stands the President of the States. What do you feel, now? This is not just a best friend, just any person: this is the dignitary of all for your country. And, there you stand, with mouth dropping like a forty pound brink has been attached to your lower lip. Your eyes are bulging like you are falling from the Grand Canyon.
Why would you feel embarrassed? Not because you are looking into the eyes of Barak Obama. No. You feel unprepared and discomfited for you, all stinking-dirty you, is standing before President Obama. And what do you wish? That you could just disappear into that shower in the back room and in a milli-second, even less, a sub-atomic second, you could get cleaned up and stand before the President clean-smelling and clean-looking.
Now, imagine meeting, suddenly, Someone who is the Dignitary of the entire universe. Not President God. Not Prince God. Not Pope God. Not anything God. God. That is right: God.
Isaiah did, in a dream. And he was not prepared: He felt like that dirty you standing before the President, and worse. After all, other dignitaries are dignified by office, but this Someone is dignified ultimately by ultimate, infinite, inexpressible holiness - Holy Dignified Holiness: Total Totally and Beyond Total Otherness, drenched Otherness in every shred of Universal Presence. Wow!
And what did Isaiah feel like? Caked in mud: guilt through-and-through. Soaked in shame. No, counseling will not clean him up, for his guilt is to-the-bone and all around, too. No "How To" book will work. No "Dream Analysis" will work. No "Catechism" will work. No nothing will work. All Isaiah can feel and think is: "I'm really messed up, and everyone around me is as messed up as I am." He feels as small as a pig at a monarch coronation, a flea on a wedding cake. So, just how is this king-court preacher to the earthy king going to get cleaned up for the heavenly King? He does not ask. He just says: "I'm messed up, we're all messed up, and I'm near death seeing this all-dressed up with Otherness Other." Isaiah had preached about holiness many times, but he had never known how terrifying being in the presence of Holiness Itself could be. All his positive-thinking just wilted like a rose in the hot Sahari.
When reading this passage, today, Spirit alerted me to one vital and life-changing word: "Behold." Now, that is used often in the Hebrew Scripture. The writer is saying, "Don't miss this. This is really important." And this "Behold" - just one little word in Hebrew (three consonants) - changed the life of the king-court preacher Isaiah, and prepared him to be an emissary for the Heavenly-Court, to king and all.
"Behold." Like Isaiah, to get to the service and life the Throne Sitter wants us to enjoy, we have to pass through our sense of nothingness. Indeed, how can we "Behold" the holy otherness of God unless we "Behold" the contrast we are, and, then, "Behold" we can get all cleaned up and smelling great for His work.
Now, some of us may have engaged in some getting-cleaned-up work. Grace does that, after we stand before Holiness and feel our messiness. But we struggle to "Behold." We struggle to move beyond our cry of unfit for Him, to get to acceptance of getting fitted and being fit for Him. We can struggle with the exact thing we claim is so amazing: Grace. The world, all the world needs Grace, and we struggle to show it, struggling along as we often do as though under the load of Graceless.
See, we can learn all about Grace, and never know and feel it, anymore than being amazed at an amazing Eagle makes me soar as king of the birds. And I admit, this has been a struggle in my life, and, down deep, most of us - if we are honest - can admit the same. Grace is real beautiful - is the Beautiful - but we find it very hard to believe Grace is true for us - not now, at least, but surely in heaven after we die. Maybe for others, but not me, not now.
She is an immaculate dancer, but we find it hard to admit She actually wants us to dance with Her. So, we sit over to the side. We talk and sing about Her and come up with all kinds of theory and accolades about Her, while She keeps calling out, smiling - What a smile!: "Hey! Get up! Get over here! I freed you to dance with me."
But we cannot well dance on, where we once limped along or just sat down, or let our past keep pushing us down, unless we "Behold" and can say, "Yes! I see Her! The unfit me She has made fit for Her."
No, we do not need a shame shower. And no one can pass a magic religious wand over us, saying just the right incantations, to purify us of the toxins of regret. What cleans us up? Grace. What allows us to let go of our past boo-boos and all, and go on smiling and loving? Grace. What takes away every shred of guilt and guilt-feeling? Grace. What can break every ugly tie to an ugly past? Grace. What can respond to every finger point at you for anything done in your past with "Innocent. I'm Free!"? Grace. What can allow you, yes you, to go skipping down Forgiven Lane, smelling the flowers of Love, and listening to the songbirds of Joy, not to speak of basking in the Sunshine of Peace? Grace.
So, "Behold." Keep "Beholding" until you are freed from any sense of stink from the past. Grace cleans us up, and Grace sweet-smells us up. Grace prepares us to exclaim, "Hey! Over here! I'll go anywhere for you. But, first, may I have a dance?" - Welcome, Mr. President, so glad to see you.
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*Charitable contributions would be appreciated to assist Brian in continuing his ministry. For contributions, contact Brian at barukhattah@embarqmail.com .
*Brian's book of spiritual love poetry, An Ache for Union: Oneness with God through Love, can be ordered through major booksellers or the Cokesbury on-line store, cokesbury.com .
*Brian K. Wilcox, a United Methodist Pastor, lives in Southwest Florida. He is a vowed member of Greenbough House of Prayer, a contemplative Christian community in South Georgia. He lives a contemplative life and seeks to inspire others to enjoy a more intimate relationship with Christ. Brian advocates for a spiritually-focused, experiential Christianity and renewal of the Church through addressing the deeper spiritual needs and longings of persons.
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